In a desperate need for content, The Crow remake is the gift that keeps on giving.
We now have an official trailer, and it did nothing to calm my anxieties about this film.
Since my previous review, I have come to learn that there really is no love for the source material or 94 film. The original comic author seems unimpressed, actors from the 94 film seem unimpressed, and you need only glance at the comments of the official trailer to know this is a swing and a miss with audiences.
One comment from miracleofsound states, “Every 90s goth kid playing Burn by the Cure over & over tonight to try and brain bleach this trailer from our minds lol”
The trailer shows Bill Skarsgard and FKA Twigs as Eric and Shelley, living their lives and being in love. Eric asks the question “what did you first like about me” which, cringe. And Shelley responds something to the effect of how brilliant and dark and cool he is, which, even more cringe. They then say they feel like each other’s person (barf), and then Eric asks her what’s the worst thing she’s ever done. Shelley then admits to witnessing a crime, which then cuts to Eric and Shelley being brutally murdered.
All right, fine. So far it’s at least sort of in the spirit of the original.
Then we get to Eric coming back to get revenge, maybe – we see Eric and Shelley, after being murdered, reaching to each other in water (I will assume this is the spirit world, I have no reason to think that but I will give them the benefit of the doubt that surely they weren’t still alive). A voiceover says he has been given the powers of a god, and then it’s just a montage of Eric brutally killing people while Danny Huston (PLEASE DON’T BE TOP DOLLAR) sits in an empty theatre and the mystery narrator says “you are running out of time to save her” (Which again, I will hope is in reference to saving her also lost spirit in the spirit world and not some bullshit attempt at time travel).
The song playing in the trailer also has none of the original goth, over the top aesthetic needed. This whole trailer is giving a whole lot of nothing. There’s flashbacks, which we knew we would get, and then gore. There is no camp, there is no emotion, there is no “can’t rain all the time”, there is just sensationalism. Considering how the original comic and 94 film are rooted in the concepts of grief and loss, I would except the trailer for the new one to at least touch on these ideas as well. Instead, we get the Marvel-fication of Eric Draven, with the powers of a god, who now has to ‘save’ Shelley. Plots of love and revenge are lost from the trailer, and have really left me with feelings of just nothing. It feels like a weak excuse for an action movie that I would not think much about after seeing the trailer before a movie I would actually want to see.
Which is exceedingly disappointing as the 94 Crow is one of my favourite movies of all time.
When will Hollywood stop with the soulless cash ins on 90s goth horror? Between this and that awful The Craft revamp that came out a few years ago, these remakes are cashing in on time capsules. They want to use nostalgia bait but bring none of the camp or the cheese that made these iconic in the first place. They don’t understand it wasn’t just the subject matter or dialogue that made these films what they are, but the wardrobe, the setting, the culture. As individualism grows and apps like TikTok continue to place value on getting followers for validation, subcultures diminish and become shallow husks of what they once were.
And these films are a reflection of that.
If you want a trip down memory lane, may I suggest just rewatching your favourite movies with friends? It’ll save you money and keep what is precious to you actually precious.
Or, if you’re feeling a little more cynical, read through the comments on that trailer. You’ll feel a lot better.