I woke up salty, forgive me.
I know most romcoms have a forced conflict. For as long as the genre has existed, there has been the entirely avoidable forced conflict in the third act that drives our protagonists apart before pushing them back together.
But some of these conflicts….
And I’m not saying every forced conflict is bad or does nothing for the story. While the conflicts could often be resolved with a conversation, the conversation would at least take an hour or two to explain. There would be context or nuance that someone would need to have in order to understand where their prospective partner is coming from. And those are not the conflicts I’m talking about here.
I am talking about conflicts that could be resolved in two seconds.
I was rewatching Anyone But You last night and I found myself exceptionally frustrated within the first five minutes. The problem with Anyone But You is not the two lead actors, Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Powell play off each other amazingly well and have incredible comedic timing and make this shitshow a lot easier to swallow. The issue is the fucking conflict is so readily solvable. Spoilers ahead, so please jump ship now (it’s a pun, if you haven’t seen the movie) if you want to watch it with fresh eyes.
When Bea (Sweeney) and Ben (Powell) have a meet cute at a cafe, they end up hanging out and spend the whole day talking before falling asleep in his bed. Bea pulls an Irish goodbye before Ben wakes up and calls her sister excitedly before questioning herself why did she leave without saying anything, so she decides to turn around. Ben, upset that Bea left after having a soulmate connection, bad mouths her to his roommate to lessen his hurt. Unbeknownst to him, Bea is standing in the doorway outside (also does their apartment just not have a door, she just can walk right in) and overhears him. And this is the reason they still hate each other two years later and is the central conflict of the movie.
What. the. fuck.
Granted, it would hurt to overhear all that, but all she has to do is make her presence known. And then he would immediately backtrack and explain. But no, she holds a grudge for two years (as does he), so when they are paired together for their friends’ wedding, there is tension — but is there? They fling the most unwarranted insults at each other (especially Ben, saying she uses her sexuality to get what she wants which…they spent the whole night talking and he made her a grilled cheese. What the fuck is he talking about?) and still JUST DO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE OVERHEARD HIM BAD MOUTH HER. I have never, in my life, seen such an avoidable and unnecessary conflict that seemingly ruins everyone else in the movie’s good time. Also side note, Bea’s parents are straight up emotionally abusive but it’s played for laughs, which was also infuriating.
And while this movie made me want to tear my hair out, it reminded me of another movie with a completely avoidable conflict that is somehow worse but also a little bit better because they aren’t making their nonsense everyone else’s problem.
And that lesser of two evils is Holidate.
The premise is: Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey star as Sloane (Roberts) and Jackson (Bracey), two perpetual singles who are tired of their families nagging them about being single on the holidays, so they are each others’ “holidate”, aka they go to each other’s family get togethers — and by that I mean they go to Sloane’s. Jackson seems to have no family in the country (he is Australian) but they literally never even bring them up so I don’t know what he is getting out of this deal. The stupidest part is they TELL THEIR FAMILY that it’s just a holidate and they are still single, which…if you want your family to stop asking you about your love life, why tell them that part? What is the point of the holidate if they know it’s JUST a holiday date!? That isn’t even the conflict though, heaven help us.
No, the conflict is after they inevitably sleep together, Sloane asks him to leave so her sister can come over after she cheats on her husband and is stressed out. Jackson takes this personally (???????) and then the twist is Sloane kicked him out because she was afraid and apparently sabotaging her relationship because….she thought he just wanted to sleep with her and never talk to her again. EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HE WANTED TO STAY! Neither character gives any hint or indication that this fear of commitment is an issue, and this is a problem in the script of Anyone But You. The script, knowing the conflict is so weak, tries to force this emotional weight in as what the actual problem is, but the characters’ behavior and friendships never back this up. They just suddenly, apparently, have issues.
Sloane takes the cake though, as apparently it’s her that’s the problem because she is scared of love (despite wanting it the whole movie and Jackson being a willing participant). This is also all revealed after Sloane shits herself at a party after overdosing on laxatives (this fucking movie) and he helps her hose it off. He still sleeps with her after that on the same night and she’s sitting there like he clearly doesn’t care about me.
I am…gobsmacked this script got greenlit. Maybe Holidate isn’t the lesser of two evils, maybe I just genuinely have my brain melt when I watch it so it’s easier to digest.
The point being, if Sloane and Jackson had a two second conversation: there would be no conflict. If Bea and Ben had a two millisecond conversation, they would be soulmates and there would be no movie. When there is no real conflict so we have to stretch the plot to nothing to get the story to work, maybe it’s just not a good story. Maybe the plot is as thin as a pair of fishnet stockings and cannot make it a believable 80 minutes, thereby leaving audiences bored and dismissive. I’m into horror, I understand contrived plots and forced conflict, but those are usually used to further the story at hand. They aren’t the whole STORY. I find it exceptionally difficult to be compelled by a story where the only thing missing is communication skills, or having a two minute exchange to ask for context in a situation.
This forced conflict idea could work if the actual issue was the lack of communication skills, but it’s not. It never is. These characters are fine in every other aspect of their lives, they even can communicate effectively with family or at work.
Yet when it comes to asking a follow up question after mishearing something…they’re powerless. And the fact that conversations like this are the driving force behind romcoms is batshit to me. Long gone are the complicated plots of Meg Ryan romcoms, where Kate has to decide whether to be a busy business woman in the 90’s or go back in time with the guy who invented the elevator whom she’s fallen in love with…you know, an actual moral conflict where there are stakes at play.
Now we just have conflicts that could be wrapped up in a text exchange driving the movie.
What a nightmare. No more romcoms on this channel. I am simply not brave enough.
Back to horror for me.