It’s that time of week where I am exceptionally burnt out and desperate for content.
But I’m also not willing to sit down and watch a movie — I don’t have the brain capacity. We all reach that point when we just can’t absorb any new information. I spend so much time rewatching Scream or Late Night with the Devil that I run into the issue of having no content to write about (I do have a Late Night with the Devil theory, but does that warrant a whole post?)
However, I can write a short little blurb on movies that I’ve never finished for a variety of reasons. These are also movies I definitely never will finish and will continue to gather dust in the back corners of my mind.
Poor Things
I hated Poor Things. I think the movie is pretentious, exceptionally full of shock content and little substance, and really had a weird take on being a woman in general that really stunk of white feminism. I left when she joined the brothel and have never looked back. I also spent $40 on this movie and it has remained unfinished on my YouTube account for months and I can’t get a refund.
Little Italy
They could not have come up with a more nothing plot for two less Italian looking people if you paid them. Hayden Christensen is at least trying, but like they say in Little Italy (apparently); “Maybe that’s why they call it Little Italy, because nothing ever changes here”. Also the love interests are cousins by marriage at the end of the movie. So, you do with that what you will.
Scream 3
I predicted who the killer was during their first line and I found it predictable and lame. Also don’t like the undermining of the first two Screams, so this one is a hard pass. Also Courtney Cox’s bangs and Hollywood is all really so on the nose. And I hate the Ghostface in this movie so much — they’re just so lame and the motivations are goofy.
Birds of Prey
Why they felt the need to make Harley a mother in a movie where she’s learning she doesn’t need a relationship is beyond me. Once Cassandra Cain needs to poop out a diamond, I tap out. Last night I tapped out 11 minutes in during a rewatch attempt and regret nothing.
Addams Family Reunion
GARBAGE. THIS IS GARBAGE. Nothing even fucking happens and the overacting is too much. It makes me want to rip my skin off. Tim Curry is so perfect on paper and horrific in execution as Gomez. What a horrible casting choice–honestly, all of the casting in this is fucking horrific. But it makes sense, considering the plot barely exists.
Lost Boys: The Tribe
I remember I found this right around the first time I watched Lost Boys and decided to give it a chance — immediate regret. It’s got this gross yellow tone, the acting is terrible, and the plot barely exists. It’s so bad.
Dream a Little Dream 2
The first one is a rough watch but I love Corey Haim so I power through, but once I found out Lainie wasn’t in the sequel I bailed out. I also hate that Corey Haim is the goofy sidekick in this as he should be the leading man but who am I to say anything?
Superbad
Didn’t understand the appeal of this movie as a teen, still don’t understand the appeal. I remember watching this at a sleepover and pretending to get sick so I could go home.
Elvis
Now this one is interesting and a fun note to end on; I have tried to watch Elvis numerous times and I think it sucks, but I have never made it past the scene where he’s at Graceland and then yells at his “MAMA” about how she’s never happy before jumping into his car. I fall asleep at this scene every. Single. Time. Without fail, the minute he’s in that car, I’m out like a light. I have tried to watch this movie at different times of day, while eating, with people, and every single time I pass out. It’s like a phenomena.
Also Tom Hanks accent is so abysmal.