Writer’s block has hit me. I know it’s because I have yet to see a movie that has inspired me to make things (and because all my cosplay stuff was lost so I have to re-order it and all I wanted to do was cosplay so now I have to sit down and write, so I’m angry.) And because I’m angry, only getting angrier as my upstairs neighbor continues to make so much noise I can only assume they are bowling whilst wearing cement shoes, I immediately am looking for solace.
And what better solace than the game show, Hellevator.
Hellevator, hosted by the Soska sisters, is a game show where three contestants enter the Hellevator, where they are presented a themed location for the week (a haunted house, an old funeral home and crematorium, H.H. Holmes’ Murder Castle, etc.) One contestant from each team must get off at each of the three floors, having to solve a horror puzzle and make it back to the Hellevator in five minutes to make it back to their team. If they are successful, they win a cash prize (each floor has an increasing level of difficulty and as a result, an increased amount of money) and a chance to enter the Labyrinth – a final maze where you solve one last puzzle and grab cash along the way. While on your floor, your friends are watching you from the Hellevator and can talk to you through walkie talkies, helping you solve the game. However, if you don’t solve the puzzle in time, in the game’s universe, you are dead, and your remaining friends must carry on without you.
I remember the first time I watched Hellevator; it was on Netflix while I was looking for found footage movies to watch. I put it on and was so taken aback (in the best way) by the whole concept – it felt like something from a different universe. Game shows often rely on making fun of contestants to make good television, dating all the way back to some of the originals like The Newlywed Game. However, this isn’t necessarily making fun of the contestants (except the moments where it totally is and, as a horror fan, is usually deserved). This is watching people live out a horror movie, and as a result, it’s really easy to start rooting for them – or most of them, we’ll get to that.
Hellevator was watching people go through a really well done Haunted house, and it was so much fun. The Soska sisters are the hosts, essentially watching the contestants from a control room and occasionally taunting them or booing when they do well. They both, stylistically, remind me of Willow from that Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode where there’s the alternate universe where she’s a vampire – so essentially, they are style icons. They also play quippy hosts perfectly – they don’t overdo it, and their commentary adds humor to the show as opposed to detracting and distracting. The way they cackle at certain points too, usually when guests are running for their lives, screaming their heads off, really immerse audiences into the twisted reality of the game shows. They are perfectly contrasted against the contestants, who usually fall into the same three categories:
The over confident friend who dragged them into this mess but always goes first on the easiest level,
The quiet, thoughtful friend, usually the most encouraging and trying to maintain the peace
The panicked friend, who doesn’t want to be there at all.
This final friend, more often and not, does the best by the sheer luck of the fact they aren’t letting ego get in the way. They just want to solve the puzzle and get back to the Hellevator, even when the puzzles are insane (‘dig through this pile of organs and find the key to unlock the door or you’ll be butchered alive’ or ‘match the bones from these acid pits to the skeletons laid out in front of you, which will trigger the door to unlock’ LIKE I am talking madness here). This friend is always my favourite to root for and ironically enough, these are usually the friends that are left as the final girl. My personal favourite, Andrea, makes it all the way to the Labyrinth but then just screams and bolts through the whole maze, collecting no money besides that which she won on the floor she had gone in on – but man, she is so brave. She does not want to be there from the jump, hyperventilating before they even get on the Hellevator while her two male friends tell her to relax – they also fail to communicate with her as a whole, which is why they both ‘die’ on their respective floors. Andrea is trying despite being scared, she puts up with their crap, barely makes it out alive – but she makes it! That even earns her the (slight) respect of the Soska sisters. That was the thing I liked about this show – it really was watching a horror movie in real life as three friends make their way through a haunted house (which was always in the same location, an abandoned slaughterhouse which chef’s kiss); sometimes, they would solve the puzzle just by sheer luck, sometimes (like in Andre’s case), he wouldn’t communicate to the frustration of his teammates and ultimately ending in his demise. On another episode, a man named Christian solved the puzzle but with only seconds to spare, he didn’t make it out. Watching that poor man fumble with the lock moments before his ‘life ended’ – despite knowing he wasn’t going to die – was SO heart wrenching. He was so close! The horror stakes weren’t real, but they felt real, and that’s what made it such a unique viewing experience.
Unlike other game shows, this one was spooky and fun, one for the goths and weirdos. Many of the contestants on this show were living out, at least in my case, the dream – two goth baddies are bullying you over an intercom while you have to solve these gross puzzles? Honestly, my goal when I first watched was to be a contestant and just drag two friends with me. It was a desperate need. There’s scare actors, there’s little triggers that will occasionally spray blood on contestants, and the practical effects are pretty great – there’s one that includes digging through organs and measuring the perfect amount to balance the scales for an organ harvester. Imagine any other game show where that would be a thing.
Much like movies like Nightmare Before Christmas or Scream, this feels like one of those Goth comfort pieces of media. I revisit this show when I’m stressed or sad or just want to feel nostalgic – Hellevator sadly only lasted for twelve episodes spanning two seasons from 2015-2016, and I have no idea why. If it was a mutual decision and all walked away from the project content, I am happy for them. However, if this was cancelled for any other reason, my heart breaks. This is the alt kids dream game show to be on, something for horror lovers when the rest of the family wants to watch Wipeout or The Price is Right. Hellevator is something that I remember so fondly after stumbling upon it, I try to rewatch as often as I can. It’s something that I bring up when watching other movies, wondering which of our favourite characters would be able to survive the Hellevator and who would perish. I just look back at this scarefest so fondly, and revisiting never disappoints.
Would I survive the Hellevator? Hopefully. And while I will never know for sure, I do know that those who have survived it are my heroes. As are the demented minds that brought this game show to life.